When a heart breaks, the pain it causes can't be described in words. And no one can soothe the ache. Different people deal with it in different ways. Some take up drinking, some smoke, some cut themselves and some do something extreme; all in the hope that the resulting damage/suffering will numb the pain in their heart. But - it's like lighting a match to outshine a midday sun.
Disclaimer first off - this is not an entirely original poem. Saw a poem on the facebook page of Mera beta engineer banega. Yea, funny name. This page mostly posts jokes. But once in a while, there are meaningful and heart touching stuff there. Like that poem.
Anyway, I changed the lines here and there. And when I was translating the finished poem, as I post English translation of all the stuff I post on this blog, the literal translation was lacking the feel of the original. Hence instead of translating, created English version of the poem. Compare the Hindi and English versions and let me know which one you like better.
फिर एक सिगरेट जला रहा हु,
फिर एक तीली बुझा रहा हु.
तेरी नज़र में मै बिगड़ रहा हु.
मैं तो तेरे वादे भुला रहा हु.
समझना मत इसको मेरी आदत,
मैं तो बस एक दर्द को दुसरे से दबा रहा हु.
ये तेरी यादो के सिलसिले है,
मैं तेरी यादे जला रहा हु.
मैं घायल, इतना टूट चूका हु,
के ग़म के किस्से सुना रहा हु.
अगर तुम्हे भी ग़म है तो पास आओ,
पहली और आखरी बार गले लगाओ.
है मेरी आँखें तो आज नम,
मगर मैं सबको हंसा रहा हु.
खो कर अपनी जिंदगी..
फिर एक सिगरेट जला रहा हु. Same poem, English fonts -
Phir ek cigaret jala raha hu,
Phir ek teeli bujha raha hu.
Teri nazar me main bigad raha hu,
Main to tere vaade bhula raha hu.
Samajhna mat isko meri aadat,
Main to bas ek dard ko dusre se daba raha hu.
Ye teri yaado ke silsile hai,
Main teri yaade jala raha hu.
Main ghaayal, itna tuut chuka hu,
Ke gham ke kisse suna raha hu.
Agar tumhe bhi gham hai to paas aao,
Pehli aur aakhri baar gale lagao.
Hai meri aankhen to aaj nam,
Magar main sabko hansa raha hu,
Kho kar apni ZINDAGI..
Phir ek cigaret jala raha hu And here's the English version of the poem. Guess I can claim this as my creation.
I'm lighting up another cigarette,
Blowing out the light, looking degenerate.
In your eyes, I'm doing all the wrong things,
I'm trying to forget the promises you made, stuff that stings.
Don't think of smoking as a habit of mine,
I'm burying one pain under another and acting fine.
This is your thoughts running in my mind,
I'm just burning them and giving the inferno wind.
I'm in pain, heartbroken and shattered.
Result of being in love like nothing else mattered.
If you feel the pain, then come to me, get close,
Hold me for the first and last time, before I lose.
My eyes are moist, mind's a mess.
I'm making others laugh, nonetheless.
I've lost my life, I draw regret.
I'm lighting up another cigarette.
So, which version do you like more? Drop your take in the comments below.
And for those who are in similar situation - I'd say - just hang in there. And "O naadan parindey, ghar aaja". :-)
